unexpected lull

Sometimes I am so low I don't know how I let myself get here.
I need to sleep, I need to forget, I need to embrace things
By withdrawing I prolong the need, the repetition, the rotation
But there is no rotation, there's a pattern, but it's not moving
It's interesting in these valley's and lull's how bad news links together
And laces through, as imagination and reality race to outdo each other
In bad tiding's, in discomfort, in letters and memories. It just keeps going
Everything rises up and I won't sleep for days while it lays here, heavy on me





my immunity is low, 
I've spent a long time letting it deplete, 
letting you and every lying voice passing and in my head deplete it. 

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