Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts

Starving Artists :: Cornerstone part 3

Well now that I've written myself into a corner, I have to tell you about the hamburgers I led up to in my "love life" blog.

This year at Cornerstone I found myself hungry.... I don't mean like "oh, those vendors have curly fries and funnel cakes and I NEED them" hungry, I mean "since we didn't have Jesus Village we not only didn't feed everyone else we weren't setup to eat for ourselves either so the first 2 days at Cornerstone I didn't eat. I ate something in Indiana Wednesday morning then drove to Cornerstone, got out setup played my show with my beautiful friends and violins and cello's and accordians and then went on thru all night Wednesday & all day Thursday without eating" hungry. I know 40 some hours is nothing to go without eating, I wasn't starving but man, I felt like I was....I was ready for some food. Thursday night came around and as I sat down with my siblings and friends with hamburgers on our plates and oranges... We just kept looking at each other and saying thank you God for this food. I don't think I was the only one who had tears in my eyes as I started talking to my brother saying, do you realize that how we felt not eating or knowing where our meals would come from the last 2 days is what the people we feed always feel? I can not explain how poignant that moment was sitting there with our hamburgers almost crying because we realized how much what we do matters to people.

I am aware of the needs across America, in the city streets, in impoverished areas, in Appalachia, in third world countries, in our own overlooked backyards, but I didn't think that feeding people dinner at Cornerstone the last 10years as Jesus Village meant that much. Until suddenly I was one of the people who had spent all we had to get there and then went around the festival without a meal. Food isn't the point. The poor will be with you always....there will always be need and hunger, and whether I'm always out there trying to meet those needs or not I hope I always remember the point is always being where God wants you when He wants you there, so he can use you, as love, as a bridge, as truth and compassion.

I realized all of these things in succession as I ate, looking around at my family, my friends and at the unending faithfulness of God.
God let me have that moment to feel how grateful others are for even just a meal we give them. As I realized how God had used us even in that way at Cornerstone not just in the trenches I cried, tears of joy and fulfillment and thankfulness. I cried because I couldn't give anything away this year. But in the same moment I knew God had His reasons and timing and perfect ways. He's always doing the good. We just sometimes get to be in the middle of it. And if we're seeking Him in our walk... Well, you know how it goes...

All things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called... That would be me.
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Orphans & Doritos

I have a craving for some kind of food, that resembles comfort food. I don't always know what I want, when I feel like this, but usually my sister knows what to tell me I want when I feel this way. I turn to her in my time of hunger and she brings me tator-tot's, milk shakes, cheese cake, cereal, or toast...whatever seems comforting at the time. Right now though if I asked her she would probably not be able to help me, because we are both out of our comfort zones, beyond the reach of even the most comforting foods, that would heal my mood most nights. 


Besides the extra 10 pounds I've been maintaining because I use food as a sedative, life has had some other highlights.  Today for instance, I took someone's shift at an after school program, out of my comfort zone would be a severe understatement... especially as I pulled a screaming 7 year old off the ground, 3 times within the first hour. While the wise, older (at 9), "more experienced" leader of the pack, schooled the younger kids in how Scary Movie 1, 2 and 3 weren't really that scary. By the end of the day I found myself, wishing so badly that there was something I could have given these children besides those 3 hours of my life... and wondering if anyone else was going to be the love they desperately needed in their life, hopefully the church after school program will take the time to show them Jesus, before they find it in other places. 
I can never be everything in all the places I wish I could, sometimes I worry that too many people, too many parents, even too many ministry leaders, may get too busy building their life to see the needs under their feet, just behind them looking for footsteps to follow and getting confused long before their strong enough to walk on their own. No judgment, at all, more like thinking out loud, on the verge of a prayer... Hoping I'm learning. There but for the grace of God (go I).




Also today, I took care of a ten month old baby boy, a foster child that is temporarily in the care of the pastor I was having dinner with. It was an emergency situation and, he's only staying with the family for 48 hours. He's going to a new home tomorrow. After this my advice to you is, never spend an hour or more with a child that you will never see again, who may end up in a terrible living situation... No, seriously, I wouldn't trade that hour for anything. I prayed and prayed for that little boy, and I don't pray all the time by the way... I just hoped so much that he would have a good life, though it seems a little doubtful considering the parents he just got taken away from... It was so sad, but so good. There is so much need in the world, we aren't all called to meet all of them... The poor will be with you always, etc. But also sometimes God can use the needs of others, even the needs of babies.... to teach us, He always can, if we let Him. 

10.10.10

10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10

I love my family
I spent the weekend in the poorest county and my time here was rich
Being hurt can be good for you
I like Chicken Flautas
God is real, even when you are afraid. Especially then
Southern Appalachia is a beautiful thing
A Dirty Chai is not a sleep aid
Hard work leaves you satisfied
My sister is one of the best friends I could want
Loneliness is healthy

10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10
How is it the ones who least deserve it often get the most...
Tears, time, effort, regret
And the ones who may deserve a little more spend so much on them.

That's my deep thought for today...
Other than that, aside from work I'm focused on drinking water, getting back in shape, telling my sister what I want on this birthday list she's making for me and making homemade peach ice cream.

Tell me you think the second paragraph deserves more time & heart than the first...