I talk about change as if I embraced it. Excitement about doing new things, the plans & the well laid hopes of what's next and what's beginning. But even as all these false advertisements pour through my system and out of my mouth I know the truth. Change is never comfortable or without a level of pain(in adjustment, in growing pains). Even the smoothest of transitions leave some sort of residue whether that's worked out now or hereafter depends on our skills, our ability to cope, our methods of survival.

Some of us are half healthy and sometimes those healthy parts are the visible ones. Some of us keep the unhealthy half that never learned how to adjust to anything, hidden behind the side that has spent her whole life trying to excel to keep everyone from noticing.  This only works well for awhile, eventually you break down, thankfully this usually corresponds with some semi-devastating outside event that is like a last straw for all the things you've been saving up waiting to process and adjust to, then they all come in a rush resulting in an overwhelmed often overly depressing mess.
You wallow in it briefly pull yourself up and go on. You're going to make it, get over it, time heals, you're strong, you're bigger than this, it doesn't matter, focus on the positive, it's for the best.... You end up interrupted before you've finished grieving, you're intercepted mid-process so the change and the regret & the proper place for the responsibility & pain is never fully digested, you'll keep it with you, but it's really not that bad because...
Because after all change is a good thing.
Keep telling yourself that