Today I feel anything I would put here would be just too much or certainly not enough to portray the inner turmoil that has been mine of late. 


I notice I have a small list of blogs that I follow the people who own them don't write enough either.
 I occasionally see a little post in between two of mine. 
Maybe everyone has too much and too little to say to describe what they're feeling... 
That is to say if anything comes to the surface, everything will.
And we can't have that, now can we?


I do notice that twitter & other social sharing systems abound with little pieces of life, much of which is either clipped to keep it impersonal or far too descriptive of things no one needs to know, creating a dramatic existence in a psuedo-reality
What a mess of sharing too much and hiding too much we all are

the dark night of the soul & other types of sacrifice

I read once about the dark night of the soul
In some cases I think the dark night is bound with the soul
And only in hope's continual breaking 
will you ever reach thru the dark to the surface
Some ties are meant to bind and some ties...
that we think will steady really pull us under & over
I shuddered to break those ties, but too often they weaken me
I don't claim to be anything more or less than you
And I see each human as an equal until character proves them...
Nothing in me wants to harm you but I have to live by rules I set
though I am only now learning what it means to fully enforce them... in my self

This day is not a safe place for me
In trial and questioning
In inner thoughts & sanctums
Doubt (ing)
Hope (ing)
Grieving


This day is not a safe place. 
Neither am I safe in it. 
From anything 
I run from, 
I run to, 
I run with.


This night inside my heart 
Partakes my minds endlessness
In every need 
I have,
I haven't, 
I won't meet


Don't ask me how or where
this mean street meets me
Just between
My love, 
My hate, 
And their sameness


You are their sameness
I am my own half enemy
In heaven and earth
In distance
In silence
Inquiry

Hearts don't break they bend and ache...

10.10.10

10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10

I love my family
I spent the weekend in the poorest county and my time here was rich
Being hurt can be good for you
I like Chicken Flautas
God is real, even when you are afraid. Especially then
Southern Appalachia is a beautiful thing
A Dirty Chai is not a sleep aid
Hard work leaves you satisfied
My sister is one of the best friends I could want
Loneliness is healthy

10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10

Things I'm thinking

Wondering if some thing's lost should be found again.
Sorrow is far too invitingly familiar.
Don't bite back, when it bites.
That Pure gum that's mint & melon is actually good.
I like Florida after all
Birthday's with family are good
Every day needs to count...
If you think you don't (count) look around you
I like juice almost as much as my sister does
You never know what it's worth until you're standing in the gap as your heart is taking dying breath's